GOD really does talk to us.

I had a wonderful spiritual experience couple weekends ago. I was shopping at Costco and I found a book more like drawn to it like some force of energy called "The Purpose of Christmas" this is the time of year I love and hate at the same time because my family can't seem to agree in a timely manner on what we are going to do for the holidays....it just becomes a struggle. I brought the book home and read it from cover to cover in a day. 125 pages of the best words I could have read. Many of you know whenever I went through a change in the past or longer I would always see a frog on my Mom's house. (Hence, why I have the FROG tattoo on my arm). Well, with it being cold out the frog went away, I hadn't seen him for awhile after I started reading the book when I decided better check on Kyle and was shocked to see the frog on the back sliding glass door. He was only on the door for about 15 minutes before hopping away into the bushes. I haven't seen him since but, I know he's there.

Frog stands for Fully or Forever, Rely, On, God. It was truly a message from God. The book talks about the real meaning of Christmas that it's a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, that God loves you, that we all have a purpose. I can't even talk about the book without getting choked up. It was so powerful.

The following is what triggered all of this...

I've been doing everything in my power to be civil to Kyle's father and his family, be accommodating to let them see Kyle. The weekend of Nov 8th I had a visit planned for his parents NOT Travis... but his parents to come to my Mom's for a visit. Something started to feel uneasy about it so I canceled stating perhaps another time (it's been 6 months since Travis' parents have seen Kyle and 14 months since Travis has seen Kyle). I found myself very angry not just at them for whatever, but at myself for thinking that anything was going to change. Jay & Cee (Kyle's paternal grandparents) have never agreed to come see Kyle in our home. After I canceled Cee called Mom which was very upsetting to my mom, I wasn't home but I called Cee later to discuss her conversation with Mom and my reasons for canceling. It was an 8 min 54 sec call which ended with Cee hanging up on me. I then called my attorney to schedule an appointment to find out if there was anything I could do to get them out of Kyle's and my life for good. He pretty much said my parenting plan was "restricted" as much as it could be however if Tee wants to see Kyle after the first of the year as our plan states I can petition for Tee to go to counseling and have him do all the court ordered stuff he was to have already done but hasn't. As far has Jay & Cee well as grandparents they have NO rights in the state of WA. In a nutshell after all this time I thought I'd moved past this and worked through it. I am no longer having any contact with Kyle's other family and they will not being seeing Kyle. I don't even want to talk about them after this because it makes me physically sick.

NOTE: some of the names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Thank you for reading