I don't even know where to start... how about this it's been awhile since I've written. Lots of stuff going on. I'm mostly writing to vent my frustration about LIFE in general. OK I know everyone has their issues and that's fine. As most of you know I keep everyone at arms length. In other words I don't let people get close to me because the second I do WHAM!!!!!! I get hurt. I'm so tired of opening up to someone letting them know how I feel then they either walk out of my life or they ignore me...treat me like a piece of shit on the ground.
I ask GOD every single day what did I do to deserve this? Is this the way it's going to go for the rest of my life. I mean is everyone around me going to get married 2 & 3 times before I ever get a chance to experience it once? I don't get it I just don't. Am I supposed to be strong for everyone else? Am I supposed to just roll over and let people tell me how they feel about me then they just ignore me.....I JUST DON'T GET IT. All the while they are hiding what's really going on and are not honest with me. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear tell me truth dammit!
I've prayed for guidance and direction only leading back to once path and that's the path to clam up, isolate and not put myself out there. Come on people you know who are you. My heart CANNOT take any more hurt or disappointment.
Let's talk about trust...who can you really trust? Family, friends, ...who I ask. I trust NO ONE at this point in time. God, okay God I do trust...He doesn't talk trash about me or tell my private business to others. He doesn't discount my feelings. Oh and he never leaves me when I need him the most. He's always a great friend, always listens to me and never says "I'm too busy for you" I guess I got the answer to all my questions in this VENT session.
With God I'm NEVER alone, I always have trust, and I better build a strong relationship with HIM. If you really want to be in my life prove it to me. Put up or shut up is all I have to say.
Take care and thank you for reading.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment